Wise Women Won't Wait Any More

Wise Women Won't Wait Any More

Thursday, September 27, 2018

For the Good of the Nation

By Faith Chatham - Sept. 27, 2018
About the same time as the alleged assault on Dr. Ford occurred, I was a single businesswoman operating an advertising /marketing agency/creative shop in East Texas. What was supposed to be a business meeting resulted in sexual assault. Later I discovered that the man who assaulted me had appropriated someone else's ID and had stalked me for months, developing relationships to secure an introduction and assignment which would place me within his reach. He left the region immediately after the assault and I did not report it to police or tell friends or family or clergy for many years.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's testimony resonates as 100% creditable to me based on my experience and training. Here is something I wrote earlier today:

Unless we are personally harmed or personally witness something weird, we are unlikely to remember who we were with 30+ years ago. However, Dr. Ford has testified that her girlfriend was downstairs, and she did not see the attack. She says that she did not tell her girlfriend about what happened upstairs. It is very probable that the evening seemed like just another party to the woman who was not assaulted. It was not traumatic for her so with time it fades from her memory.

If Dr. Ford had not been assaulted
, it would probably have faded from her memory too. But because she was, it is imprinted in her mind.

I don't remember most of the "dates" I had or places I went or who was present at 
other specific dinner meetings or small gatherings which I attended in the 1980s  (or before). However, there are clear flashes from one event which was a nightmare which I didn't think I would get through alive. Dr. Ford's testimony is authentic to me. From personal experience I know that it is normal to block out some things, including not remembering what happened immediately after the event clearly (how you got home for instance) while remembering the physique and words and expression of the attacker. My attacker did not laugh, but he pinned my neck back against the seat of the vehicle with his arms. Decades later I react whenever something or someone constrains my neck.

We might not remember the exact date because we work so hard at putting it out our minds. Many of us remember a general time frame but not the exact date. Not knowing the exact date does not negate our knowing what happened to us or who did it. 

An example of people remembering trauma is that most people can tell us exactly where they were when they heard JFK was assassinated and /or the planes flew into the World Trade Center. Those are traumatic events. Sexual Assault survivors remember the events as clearly as they remember where they were on 9/11. We probably do not remember where we were the day or week before or after those event because those days seemed normal. I remember sitting in my mother's hospital room watching the Delta air crash at DFW airport, but I can not tell you the exact date without researching the crash or seeing my mother's hospital records. The Delta air crash stands out in my mind because that is when we discovered my mother was dying. Trauma imprints memories into our brain. Not every detail of that day, or those days, remains crisp. But the events remain clear. Not being able to describe every detail does not mean the events did not occur.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford had nothing to gain, and everything to lose, by coming forward and testifying. The nominee is fighting for his political/professional life and has everything to retain or gain by having her allegations discredited. Predators usually react angrily towards survivors. Senator Graham and Judge Brett Kavanaugh are frustrated and angry that these claims are hindering his confirmation. Boys who were present in the room with Brett Kavanaugh in 1982 can still face charges since there is no Statue of Limitation on sexual assault in Maryland. They have much motivation for discounting or denying these allegations. Dr. Ford is the only person who has nothing to gain by telling her story at this time.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was not given a fair hearing by most of the members of the Judicial Committee. Instead of seeking the best candidate for the nation, partisan determination to ram President Trump's nominee through overshadowed true evaluation of the testimony of Dr. Ford. Despite decades of reforms, survivors remain on trial when we come forward. In a nation where it is estimated that one in every three women and one in every six men are sexually assaulted or molested, and only 7 out of 1000 are convicted and only 6 out of 1000 rapists actually serve jail time. Only 11 out of 1000 rape cases are referred to a prosecutor. The low percentage of convictions discourages victims from reporting the crime. Because apx. 66% of rape/sexual assaults in the USA are unreported and 96% escape prison or jail time, the number which goes unreported enables serial predators to walk free. Refusal to dedicate resources to clear rape kit backlogs illustrates what a low priority legislators place on curtailing sexual assault and molestation.                       
I am inspired by Dr. Ford, and admire her strength of character and fastidiousness to facts and clarity. Today's hearing demonstrates that much too little has changed since Dr. Ford and my lives were irreparably changed by the actions of individuals who chose to indulge their perversions at our expense without our consent. The Chair and majority of the U.S. Senate Judicial Committee chose to utilize a female prosecutor to question the survivor and to frame questions to help exonerate the nominee.

Survivors can step forward, however, the penalty for not laying down and suffering in silence the violations we experience is still frightfully high. In the year of #MeToo a man can garner sympathy for the discomfort he experiences during ten days waiting for his hearing before Congress while survivors are discounted for months, years, even decades before the predators are questioned or investigated. Most are never convicted or jailed, yet data shows that survivors of all genders number in the millions.

I can easily comprehend why a woman would keep silent for decades yet step forward when seeing the man who assaulted her considered for a life-time seat on the Supreme Court. Knowing the impact Supreme Court Justices have on current and future generations, trying to protect others enables some of us to overcome our fears and knowledge of what coming forward will cost us. Dr. Ford's testimony may not keep Judge Kavenaugh off of the Supreme Court, but she knows that she tried. She has done what she can to give the Senate the information they need to make an informed decision on his confirmation. I hope that the members of the Senate will be as unselfish as Dr. Ford and place the well being of the nation and our national institutions above their own comfort or political careers/preferences.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Putting on Our Big Girl or Big Boy Pants

By Faith Chatham - Sept. 26, 2018
I think part of the break down in the American political system rests with too many people demanding that the CANDIDATE do all the work in reaching them with enough information to inspire them to vote. 

There is one candidate and 28.3 million other Texans. There is only so far one person can go in reaching 28.3 million people. Texans must take responsibility to exert some effort to find out about the candidates.

 We should research and actually SEARCH for the necessary information to make our decision and then TELL others. 

We have a RESPONSIBILITY to exert our VOICE to confront the darkness. Sitting on our hands and complaining because the candidate we suspect more closely shares our values does not run as many TV ads, or we do not see them as frequently on social media or get as many mailers is IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE. Being a grown up means finding out what we need to know and doing what we need to do to get the best outcome for our families. We can sit in a corner and wait and we will be stuck with the same outcome.

More Texas Democrats are active in GOTV efforts this year than every in the history of this state. More individuals have  done their homework and are actually working to get out the vote for Democratic nominees in Texas than ever before. .Use of the Democratic Party's MiniVan mobile app is one indicator. In 2016, there were 153,513 Texans who logged into the MiniVan, We have already exceeded 
218,189 people have logging  onto the app  

Numbers of Texans showing up at Town Hall meetings and rallies for Democratic candidates in 2018 are consistently higher than in previous midterm election cycles. Giving to Democratic challengers running in districts in Texas where there are few Democratic incumbents is higher also. Even with these indicators, the likelihood of every Texan being reached with enough messages to persuade them to vote is unlikely.However, there is enough information out there for people to make informed decisions. 

It is my opinion that we -- the citizens -- are responsible for our electoral process. it is our responsibility to recognize the realities and work to combat the irregularities, the gerrymandering, the incumbent advantage. It is our responsibility to research whether the policies the incumbents impose actually work for Texans. It is our responsibility to discern between photo ops and sound clips and actually support or opposition to adequately funding our schools, fiscal priorities, ethics,  diversion of dedicated funds to other uses, failure to address life threatening issues while wasting legislative time on wedge issues.

I had a woman who alleged that she is a PhD, activists, precinct chair with degrees in political science complain on a Facebook thread this week that she does not know Lupe Valdez's position on healthcare, immigration or education. I asked: "What planet have you been on!  Use google!"  If she is an educated activist precinct chair, it is her responsibility to communicate about the Democratic nominees to others in her precinct. Not understanding the Democratic Governor Nominee's position on key issues this late in the election cycle is dereliction of her duty as an elected precinct chair. The candidate can only do so much. It is the responsibility of the rest of us to do our part.

Those who complain about not receiving enough messages to understand the candidates' position on issues are slackers. In the age of the internet and search engines, it is out there and if you are reading this post you have the information only few key strokes away.  This nation was not founded on the premise that good government would be handed to us. It is our responsibility to PARTICIPATE to improve and preserve it! If you are reading this, you are on the internet. If you are complaining on Facebook, you are on the internet. Type something into the scroll bar and hit "Enter". Then read, evaluate, decided. Then COMMUNICATE with your family, friends and neighbors. This is what MATURE CITIZENS do in a Democracy.

If you are in the category I have branded "slacker", you can catch up. Please do because we are all in the same boat and we'll end up with the same fate.


Some websites of Democratic Nominees in Texas:

www.lupevaldez.com

www.collierfortexas.com

www.betofortexas.org

www.joifortexas.com

US Congressional Democratic Nominees are:
US TX 1 - Shirley McKellar
US TX 2 - Todd Litton
US TX 3 - Lori Bunch
US TX 4 - Catherine Krantz
US TX -5 -Dan Wood
US TX-6 - Jana SanchezUS TX-7 - Lizzie Fletcher
US TX 8 - Steven David
US TX 9 - Al Green
US TX 10 - Mike Siegel
US TX 11 - Jennie Lou Leeder
US TX 12 - Vanessa Adi
US TX 13 - Greg Sagan
US TX-14 - Adrienne Bell
US TX-15 - Vicente Gonzales
US TX-16 - Veronica Escobar
US TX-17 - Rick Kennedy
US TX-18 - Shelia Jackson Lee
US TX-19 - Miguel Levario
US TX-20 - Joaquin Castro
US TX-21 - Joseph Kopser
US TX-22 -  Sri Preston Kulkarni
US TX-23 - Gina Ortiz Jones
US TX-24 - Jan McDowell
US TX-25 - Julie Oliiver
US TX-26 - Lindsey Fagan
US TX-27 - Eric Holguin
US TX-28 - Henry Cuellar 
US TX-29 - Sylvia Garcia
US TX-30 - Eddie Bernice Johnson
US TX-31 - MJ Hegar (Mary Jennings Hegar)
US TX -32 - Colin Allred
US TX 33 - Marc Veasey
US TX-34 - Filemon Vela
US TX-35 - Lloyd Doggett
US TX 36 - Dayna Steele

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Eleanor to my mother's generation

By Faith Chatham Sept. 25, 2018
Watching the Ken Burns documentary on the Roosevelts brings back to mind memories of comments and conversations by and with my Mother. I think there was probably no woman in public life who exceeded Mrs. Roosevelt in my mother's admiration and appreciation. Mrs. Roosevelt used to write regular columns and Mother always took them the day they arrived and read them before she fell asleep. Mother described her "as beautiful and gracious in every way that truly matters."
The role model of Mrs Roosevelt showed women of my mother's generation that they need not merely sit silently, that mothers could have lives beyond their hearth and family. that being constructive in endeavoring to make the world better was not neglecting their children but truly a means of nurturing a family.
Mother enjoyed what Mrs. Roosevelt said and did. Growing up on the farm in East Texas, my mother was impressed with the clothes Mrs. Roosevelt wore. That surprised me. By the time I was aware of Mrs. Roosevelt, she was elderly. My mother grew up seeing her as a young woman, a young wife, an Eastern urban woman of the world. The Ken Burns documentary brings this family to life and shows us the "steel" of a tender woman who fought for what was compassionate, what was decent, what was fair, what was necessary, no matter how unpopular or difficult.
I think that my Mother passed along to me some of the values she shared with her heroine Anna Eleanor Roosevelt. I was never allowed to think that anything which was worth while would be easy or necessarily pleasant or popular to accomplish. It was instilled in me to listen to the heart within me, and go for what I knew to be "right", without regard for the opinions or nay saying of siblings or others.
This documentary reminds me that women shape the path of other women, often without our every encountering each other in person. What one generation receives, is passed on to subsequent generations. The struggle and triumph of others fuels generations who may newer know the names of those who mentored and inspired those who nurtured and shaped us.