About the same time as
the alleged assault on Dr. Ford occurred, I was a single businesswoman
operating an advertising /marketing agency/creative shop in East Texas. What
was supposed to be a business meeting resulted in sexual assault. Later I
discovered that the man who assaulted me had appropriated someone else's ID and
had stalked me for months, developing relationships to secure an introduction
and assignment which would place me within his reach. He left the region
immediately after the assault and I did not report it to police or tell friends
or family or clergy for many years.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's testimony
resonates as 100% creditable to me based on my experience and training. Here is
something I wrote earlier today:
Unless we are
personally harmed or personally witness something weird, we are unlikely to
remember who we were with 30+ years ago. However, Dr. Ford has testified that
her girlfriend was downstairs, and she did not see the attack. She says that
she did not tell her girlfriend about what happened upstairs. It is very
probable that the evening seemed like just another party to the woman who was
not assaulted. It was not traumatic for her so with time it fades from her
memory.
If Dr. Ford had not been assaulted, it would probably have faded from her memory too. But because she was, it is imprinted in her mind.
I don't remember most of the "dates" I had or places I went or who was present at other specific dinner meetings or small gatherings which I attended in the 1980s (or before). However, there are clear flashes from one event which was a nightmare which I didn't think I would get through alive. Dr. Ford's testimony is authentic to me. From personal experience I know that it is normal to block out some things, including not remembering what happened immediately after the event clearly (how you got home for instance) while remembering the physique and words and expression of the attacker. My attacker did not laugh, but he pinned my neck back against the seat of the vehicle with his arms. Decades later I react whenever something or someone constrains my neck.
We might not remember the exact date because we work so hard at putting it out our minds. Many of us remember a general time frame but not the exact date. Not knowing the exact date does not negate our knowing what happened to us or who did it.
An example of people
remembering trauma is that most people can tell us exactly where they were when
they heard JFK was assassinated and /or the planes flew into the World Trade
Center. Those are traumatic events. Sexual Assault survivors remember the
events as clearly as they remember where they were on 9/11. We probably do not
remember where we were the day or week before or after those event because
those days seemed normal. I remember sitting in my mother's hospital room
watching the Delta air crash at DFW airport, but I can not tell you the exact
date without researching the crash or seeing my mother's hospital records. The
Delta air crash stands out in my mind because that is when we discovered my
mother was dying. Trauma imprints memories into our brain. Not every detail of
that day, or those days, remains crisp. But the events remain clear. Not being
able to describe every detail does not mean the events did not occur.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford had nothing
to gain, and everything to lose, by coming forward and testifying. The nominee is
fighting for his political/professional life and has everything to retain or
gain by having her allegations discredited. Predators usually react angrily
towards survivors. Senator Graham and Judge Brett Kavanaugh are frustrated and angry
that these claims are hindering his confirmation. Boys who were present in the
room with Brett Kavanaugh in 1982 can still face charges since there is no Statue
of Limitation on sexual assault in Maryland. They have much motivation for
discounting or denying these allegations. Dr. Ford is the only person who has nothing to gain by telling her story at this time.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was not given
a fair hearing by most of the members of the Judicial Committee. Instead of
seeking the best candidate for the nation, partisan determination to ram
President Trump's nominee through overshadowed true evaluation of the testimony
of Dr. Ford. Despite decades of reforms, survivors remain on trial when we come
forward. In a nation where it is estimated that one in every three women and
one in every six men are sexually assaulted or molested, and only 7 out of 1000
are convicted and only 6 out of 1000 rapists actually serve jail time. Only 11
out of 1000 rape cases are referred to a prosecutor. The low percentage of
convictions discourages victims from reporting the crime. Because apx. 66% of rape/sexual assaults in the USA are
unreported and 96% escape prison or jail time, the number which goes unreported
enables serial predators to walk free. Refusal to dedicate resources to clear
rape kit backlogs illustrates what a low priority legislators place on
curtailing sexual assault and molestation.
I am inspired by Dr. Ford, and admire her strength of character and fastidiousness to facts and clarity. Today's hearing demonstrates that much too little has changed since Dr. Ford and my lives were irreparably changed by the actions of individuals who chose to indulge their perversions at our expense without our consent. The Chair and majority of the U.S. Senate Judicial Committee chose to utilize a female prosecutor to question the survivor and to frame questions to help exonerate the nominee.
Survivors can step forward, however, the penalty for not laying down and suffering in silence the violations we experience is still frightfully high. In the year of #MeToo a man can garner sympathy for the discomfort he experiences during ten days waiting for his hearing before Congress while survivors are discounted for months, years, even decades before the predators are questioned or investigated. Most are never convicted or jailed, yet data shows that survivors of all genders number in the millions.
I am inspired by Dr. Ford, and admire her strength of character and fastidiousness to facts and clarity. Today's hearing demonstrates that much too little has changed since Dr. Ford and my lives were irreparably changed by the actions of individuals who chose to indulge their perversions at our expense without our consent. The Chair and majority of the U.S. Senate Judicial Committee chose to utilize a female prosecutor to question the survivor and to frame questions to help exonerate the nominee.
Survivors can step forward, however, the penalty for not laying down and suffering in silence the violations we experience is still frightfully high. In the year of #MeToo a man can garner sympathy for the discomfort he experiences during ten days waiting for his hearing before Congress while survivors are discounted for months, years, even decades before the predators are questioned or investigated. Most are never convicted or jailed, yet data shows that survivors of all genders number in the millions.
I can easily comprehend why a woman would keep silent for decades yet step forward when seeing the man who assaulted her considered for a life-time seat on the Supreme Court. Knowing the impact Supreme Court Justices have on current and future generations, trying to protect others enables some of us to overcome our fears and knowledge of what coming forward will cost us. Dr. Ford's testimony may not keep Judge Kavenaugh off of the Supreme Court, but she knows that she tried. She has done what she can to give the Senate the information they need to make an informed decision on his confirmation. I hope that the members of the Senate will be as unselfish as Dr. Ford and place the well being of the nation and our national institutions above their own comfort or political careers/preferences.
